Fear & Moving Forward
I have to say, one of the scariest things I’ve done is start this blog. I’m generally a pretty open person, but not worldwide internet open. It’s probably why I’ve procrastinated so much in getting this blog off the ground. But as I dig deeper into my work and think about the ways I want to contribute to society it seems more and more important that I push past that fear.
My work is centered on justice and equity. And let’s face it - there are people that work very hard to prevent or roll back any progress at all. Some of these people only show this side of themselves in the voting booth, others are very vocal. I want to push myself to be just as vocal and focused on my opposition to historical, institutional, and contemporary white supremacy.
Like all of us, my experiences and societal conditioning shows up in big and small ways. I still find myself doing quite a bit of self-censorship, although I have my own company now.
Previously in my career, when I appeared on TV and radio, my supervisors and higher-ups pull me aside and say it would have been “nice” if I had given them a heads-up and that I should let them know in advance about any future appearances.
But WHY? These conversations made me very uncomfortable.
I never mentioned where I was employed, nor did I refer to my employers in any of these appearances. But still, somehow, these individuals and organizations felt there was something about my non-company time that was part of their purview. It left me with a sense of feeling watched in a way that maybe my co-workers weren’t. And it also led me to try to “fly under the radar” so to speak and play small.
I was fearful, would my employment be in jeopardy? Why did I have to check-in or notify anyone of what I was doing? I know intellectually that there is nothing gained by playing small. I should not have shrunk myself. I should have taken every opportunity that came my way to speak about justice and equity. Hell, I should have CREATED some opportunities too!
So, I’m starting here.
I’m making a choice to use my voice and skills to further conversations and progress towards justice and equity in ALL THINGS.
I make this decision knowing my best clients, partners, collaborators, and mentors will be those that are aligned and supportive.